Time to get real about the impact of this pandemic for parents

It’s been over 8 weeks since my last post, a long 8 weeks. In the midst of this pandemic, we’ve lost child care, experienced reduced salaries, and coped with the stress that working, parenting, care-taking, housekeeping, and generally living brings. Even for those of us who are lucky to still have a job, I must admit that it’s been an exhausting and overwhelming ride.

Since May, my 1 year old and I have been traveling back and forth between our house in Iowa and my parents’ home in Kansas City. Alternating homes every couple of weeks, with my mom serving as our primary childcare. We’re lucky that we have family to care for our little one.

With the past 12 weeks on the road, the exhaustion started to set in. We couldn’t get into a bedtime routine, with several night wakings regularly. Although it was wonderful to spend time with my folks, being away from home just made things harder as our lives were split between cities.

As more and more companies announce indefinite work from home, and schools start to announce return to learn plans, it’s not surprising that the stress of this pandemic and our new normal are taking a toll on even the strongest of us.

As I reflect on my past 12 weeks, I wanted to share what I’ve learned, in case it helps you.

1. Make hard decisions. You know what your priorities are and what your values are. Make decisions that align with those values, even if it hurts people’s feelings or if they disagree with you.
2. Do something for you – that makes you feel refreshed. Take 15 or 20 minutes and do something for you. Give yourself that facial massage before bed, the pedicure in the middle of the day, or mow the lawn for some alone time.
3. Give yourself a break. You’re not going to use this time to learn a new hobby or get the celebrity abs you were hoping for. It’s okay if you skip that workout, or in my case, the week of workouts. Sometimes, you need to work on your mind and spirit.
4. Set goals for your week. I needed to feel like I was moving toward something, so I use a Full Focus Planner (from Michael Hyatt) to set my weekly priorities. This helps me plan my week strategically and tactically by what I’m planning to achieve – one day at a time.
5. Check in with yourself. Ask yourself, “How are you doing, no really?” I am someone who powers through any challenge, and puts my emotions aside to get stuff done. That can be helpful in many situations, but not when what we’re living seems to be never-ending. I try to spend at least once a week getting real with my own stress and emotions, without judgment.
6. Don’t be scared to begin again. During this epidemic, we’ve tried so many different approaches – creating office hours or shifts to work, switching responsibilities when we went part-time, switching to grandma daycare and traveling between cities, and now, finding in-home nanny solutions. I’ve also lost team members, gained some team members, and launched some initiatives in a 12 week period. And even when I felt like I was down and out, and knocked a few steps back, I paused, took a breath, and realized that there’s always a chance to begin again.